Have you ever felt a strong conviction that there is a stronger source far above our control, far above our thoughts?

Its the season of Lent, so I took a conscious effort to reflect on my journey with the Lord. Sometimes, when you are with one person for so long you tend to forget that every moment is special and you take for granted the relationship that is shared.

I accepted Christ when I was in Standard 4 in a Christmas Eve celebration in church. It was a little weird on how the whole thing happened. As an innocent child, I raise my hand saying yes I want to accept the Lord. My little sis and little bro was with me and we went up together. I knew little about what this meant but my journey in the Lord did not start here (I am sure it started way before I was born) but it was the beginning of many more to unfold, a major milestone in my life.

The excitement grew even more when my elder sister who already accepted the Lord in an evangelistic camp was excited and shared with her friends that we accepted the Lord. I was so proud of that decision I made, I even went around telling my friends that I have accepted the Lord.

Fast forward through time. Its been 10 over years and the Lord has been faithful. In every wrong turn I make, when I stumble and fall, in my sinful selfish self the Lord has never forsaken me. Indeed many times I ask this question. Who am I that the Lord of Host, the King of Kings would want to have a relationship with me?

I'm ever grateful that although the years has passed, His love for me has never changed. He was there when I was 10 to listen to me say Lord be the Lord of my life. He was there when I had to make a decision when I was 16 whether to remain in the science stream or to move to the arts. He was there when I felt all alone and when I felt everyone was against me.

He was there when I was looking for a place to continue my education and the course I wanted to take. He was right there when I was homesick during my first semester in college. He was there when I cried for finances when times were tough. He was there when I struggled to cope with the pressure from CF and studies.

He was there when I had to leave my family for the very first time for a long time. He was there when I was in the land of strangers. He saw me through the time I backpack around Europe. Never for a moment lacking anything. Keeping me healthy throughout.

He was there when I felt all is lost. He was there when I didn't know what job I should apply for (He literally gave me the job. The job came to me not me applying for it). He saw me through the difficult period of starting out in a place totally out of my comfort zone.

He brought me through experience after experience with Him. He is there to hear me say Lord forgive me for the proudness of Spirit each day. He is still here for me, patiently allowing me to spread my wings. Allowing me to stumble, just like the Mother Eagle, He lets me fly watching from a distance allowing me to fall so that I my wings will strengthen but never letting any harm come to me. Nudging me off the cliff at times so that I don't stay comfortable in the nest but to grow and mature.

Really all I can say the Lord has been good. A friend I can always count on. Who am I to deserve such grace? Only a speck of dust on this earth. No rights at all but You gave it all for this human race.

It has been a rather routine life. Waking up in the morning preparing for work, being all cramped up in the train to work, on the computer, start on my daily task, stare into the screen for the whole day, short break in between, cramped up in the train back from work, drive home, occasionally drive to the gym before heading home, prepare for bed and the same routine begins again.

I am sure those working can identify with me. Was rather relieve last week as it was school holidays. Road traffic was awesome!! (Can they have school holidays whole year?) I hitch a ride from my sister, allowing me to skip the KTM. Sweet!

The rest is pretty much the same but well....having that tiny bit of difference just makes your day.

I attended the CIMA practical requirement briefing and to my disappointment I am not sure whether I will ever get the practical experience required. Firstly, my current job will not give me the relevant experience required. It will only give me some but not all.

Honestly, I don't really like accounting related work. Yes I know I am an accountant but its just not my cup of tea. I will have to really re-think my next step. Nevertheless, it will be a decision I make in 2 years time. I will keep my word and work at the same place for two years before making my next move.

If the world ends before that time frame, that will save me a whole lot of thinking. Oh and also the CIMA qualification will be quite worthless then. Don't think God needs it in heaven.

The disasters around the world is really heart wrenching. If not natural disaster the human disaster in Middle East is equally bad.

As if the world is not uncertain enough, it is thrown with even more uncertainties. A time of peace is greatly appreciated. If only people will learn to leave disasters to nature and not help to add on towards it.

What disturbing news each day. Things going in Japan, China and New Zealand. From floods, earthquake, tsunami, I really wonder what will be next. The 1million fish dead in California. I guess nothing will be surprising anymore. Before the world can get over one event another major event takes place. Wars going on all over Middle East.

Indeed at times like this when everything is so uncertain and changes all the time only one thing remains certain, The God who says I am the same yesterday, today and forever.

I wanted to find an image that shows focus and hey presto I found the above. Well, the message of focus has been coming over and over again. I just can't seem to be focus. Running all over not knowing what the goal looks like. Finally figure out the problem is because I couldn't envision how it looks like. No accurate measures just a general statement of the goals I want to achieve makes the path hard to walk.

The past one week plus has been rather refreshing. Hugely because I haven't been staying pass 9pm in office. I have been out on training and seminar. Able to have more time with my family and a little more time for myself. Although the train has been pretty packed I am able to enter the train without waiting for more than half an hour for the next train. Really helps to break the stress.

Lately the most disturbing news is seeing the number of suicide cases in the country has risen. With more and more cases reported everyday when I open the newspaper while I am walking to my office. It really is unsettling to see how people take the value of life so lightly. If God took the time to ensure every detail is there when HE formed us how could we make such decisions just by our rash impulses? For me it was when I actually read about how the human body is formed that I know that its a complicated thing and that effort has been taken into each and every living cell. As the pressure and stress around builds up it is important to continue being Focus on the creator.

Its going to be my personal struggle to stay on course and to have the singleness of mind. Do hope that it will be built into my system.

The 15 days of new year is over and the month of February is coming to an end. February is a short month and for me it was a month with lots of different things happening. Lots of visiting to and fro relatives place.

I met up with the convent gals after years of not seeing them. It was good to see Edwina since I last saw her in 2007. She still looks the same and yes although I have not seen her for so many years we still had a good chat. Meeting up with them certainly makes me go back in time and it really felt like I was back in Secondary school.

Craziest thing ever the same day I met with the convent gals I met the TARC CNY visitation troop in Cheras. Well, it was a much smaller group than expected but nevertheless it was good to see both the old and the young mixing together. It was a little weird for some of the seniors as they have not met this really super juniors and hanging out together with them for the first time.

Finally, met up with Jon from UK. Belinda and I took him to SS2 as the shop in OUG was close. Although it was a short session together it was good to meet after several months.

For me the good news came yesterday when my dentist say I will be able to remove the braces at my next visit. Its been a good 5+ years. It will be 6 years by the time I take it out. Can't even remember how it feels without braces since I have been wearing if for so long.

On work, I had my Induction training just a week ago. It was a good change to the environment as I met with people from various department and many of them were around my age. So much easier to communicate! No generation barrier. :P I think I am getting much better now. I'm able to take things as it comes. Its been a learning and growing process for me.

Alright my little updates on my life. Wish I could carry on but the Anti-Money Laundering Seminar in Cheras is awaiting me.