Christ at the Crossroads - Charles R.Swindoll
Hell @ Work - Eng Whyeteck
I took the time to read Hell @ Work during the break time from studying especially since it was way more interesting than the textbook. I also read another book about Change over the week but the book Hell @ Work really got me stuck to the book and I had to finish it ASAP. Simple truths but illustrated very well by the writer. It talks about leadership, management and change. A rather short book but if you really take the time to ponder on the things he mentions in the book a whole lifetime wouldn't be enough to discover and live it out. The things he mention in the book can be applied to our daily lives as well. The book caught my attention because it talks about Perspective and he really brought a very unique perspective to it especially since I have read so many books of such topics.
A few of the quotes in the book
- We make a living by taking what we can, We make a life by giving what we can
- It is not what they're doing it is what they think they're doing. (Pretty much similar to the thing It is not what we are giving to our customers. It's what we make the customers think they're getting)
- We see things not as what they are but as what we are
Some tips of understanding the opposite sex. (Especially since the guys always complaints about their lady bosses). Just sharing it with you all especially to those that are in leadership roles. Some of you may beg to differ in terms of the views expressed.
The Lady Manager's Talk
Women use language to convey feelings. A woman may not be making a point at all, but simply informing you of her emotional state. She is not expecting anything to be done about it, there is no hidden message, there is no request for change or an accusation of blame. She may have a feeling and express it without the intention of making any work-related point.
Expressing and sharing negative feelings is a powerful way woman give and receive support. It is also a good way to relieve pressure or venting.
However, when a male hears a woman venting, he may misinterpret that the boss is frustrated or lost. It may sound to him as if she is saying, "I have too much to do and I can't do it."
Woman talk to discover a point while men generally know what they are going to say before they speak. After wandering around for ten minutes in her communication, she may then say with excitement, "This is what I wanted to tell you," and then she makes her point.
The problem with this communication style is that a man is thinking, "If this is what you wanted to tell me, then why did you make me wait ten minutes? Please don't waste my time. Get to the point right away."
Hence a lady manager talking this way gets the guys frustrated or loses their respect. To earn respect in the workplace, a woman manager needs to be aware of how she might be viewed by her male employees and make appropriate adjustments.
When she wants to explore and idea to discover the point, she could say this : "I'm not sure exactly what I want to say, let me think out loud with you." Sometimes all it takes is simply to state what you are doing.
When she wants to express feelings and feel better, she could say this : "Do you have a few minutes? I just need to vent some random feelings." After this she could say, "Thanks I feel better." This makes it clear to the man that this interaction wasn't a waste of time.
- Bet now most of my guy friends would guy. Yes! Wen Lin you should do that instead of talking round the bush. - Moving on....
The Guy Manager's Talk
By his mode of communication, a woman misinterprets a man as selfish and inconsiderate and thus concludes he is not trustworthy.
For instance, a male manager can quickly create a mutiny of gossip and tension by ignoring how his male employees respond to his directness. When a man is too direct, a woman mistakenly assumes he is angry with her or doesn't like her. For example, when a male manager is right to the point and doesn't engage in a little "small talk" to establish a friendly connection, a woman tends to conclude that he doesn't like her or is angry with her. She will tend to take it personally and feel excluded, mistrusted, unappreciated and disrespected. Because the woman's world is about rapport - so when we don't like her, we would talk to her less, ignore her and go straight to the point.
However, this book is not about Mars and Venus comparison for that books like Man are from Mars and Woman are from Venus which most of you are familiar with would be a better choice. I recommend the book especially to the working people. Examples given are so true and relevant. =)
Would give my review on Christ at the Crossroads in the next post.
