Interlude
heart4God
Interlude - a short period when a situation or activity is different from what comes before and after it

The word wait is an unpopular word in my vocabulary list. Whenever I am told to wait, everything inside of me will look for ways to quicken the process. That feeling heightens when I already have a plan in mind and I am eager to execute it. When I have a lunch appointment and my boss is engaged in a discussion but I need to get the document approve before lunch. My brain thinks of 101 ways to get my boss to sign off the document so that I can go off for lunch. And traffic lights, it always seems as if they just know when you are rushing and flash the red light to keep you waiting. 

There are many other times when I have been asked to wait and trust me these moments of 'waiting' seems forever. If I have a choice, I will choose 'go' rather than 'wait'. But yet the ways of God seems to be the opposite. The Bible is filled with verses on 'wait'. 'Wait on the Lord', 'Wait for the coming of the Lord', 'Wait for the harvest', 'Wait for the vision to be fulfilled'etc. 

The season of waiting is like an Interlude. It is a short period (often time it feels like a long period... too long), that is in between from what comes before and after it. And just like watching musicals or watching the orchestra, the show has been good. I've been enjoying the performance and I dread it when the house lights come on for an intermission. I want the show to go on. I fidget around. I squirm in my seat. I stare at the time hoping it moves faster. I feel restless but however long that the intermission is, the show will resume and the moment the house lights are turn off, my restlessness during the intermission is forgotten. But the question remains , why must there be an intermission? 

The problem stems in my perspective. I look at the period of intermission from the perspective of an audience. I'm sitting in the audience and  enjoying the performance. The intermission is seen as a disruption but if I look at the intermission from the players / the actors, the intermission will be a period that I welcome. It is a time to rest. A time to re-look at the notes that I need to play after the intermission or perhaps the lines that I need to sing out. I enjoy the time on the stage entertaining the crowd but I also know how important the time of intermission is, it gives me the break so that I can advance further. And once the intermission is over, it is show time! 

So now.... when is show time! but meanwhile, perhaps I need to take a pause and re-look at my lines.. 


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Crying out from the Depths
heart4God
C. H. Spurgeon
"Prayer is never more real and accepted than when it rises out of the worst places."

It's not a one time cry. It's continuous. Psalm 130:1 I have cried in the past, and still cry.


And what a wonderful promise, God not only hears; He listens.

Alexander Maclaren

  • " If out of the depths we cry, we shall cry ourselves out of the depths."


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Remember
heart4God
I would have never thought that at the age of 30 that life would still look pretty much the same. The struggles between understanding everything that goes on in this world and finding my place in this circle of life still continues. The tension with pain, trials are still there. Sadly, even after 30 years I can't say that I've mastered the art of juggling and managing life. Embarrassed to say that my response to what life throws at me have not been 'making lemonade of the lemons'. Wouldn't life experience of walking with the Lord for so many years lead to greater trust in Him? A closer more intimate experience with the One True God? 

Maybe it's because as humans we often forget the mighty deeds and works of the Lord. We have short temporal vision that does not look beyond the immediate. Our minds are stuck and limited to the here and now. For truly, God always come true in His own ways. In His own timing. He fails not and His track record since creation has been consistent. A guaranteed return on investment. 

David a man after God's heart fills the book of Psalms with 'Remember me O God'. Surely, the Lord who led him all the way is with David all the way. He kept David standing all through his life on earth. Personally selecting him from the obscure sheep pasture and making him King. Giving him the honour of honour to be the family that brings the Lord Jesus into this world. Giving Solomon his son the privilege of building the first and the grandest Temple of God. To raise him above all Israel and give him favour. 

Isa 46:9 Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. 

Heb 10:35 So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!
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New Year's Eve
heart4God
New Year's Eve Dinner at Baan Thai 2 Seafood & Thai Cuisine with the family before Watch-night service. 

Mixed Vegetables - pleasant tasting

Stew Pork - taste yummy

Thai Basil Mince Pork - not something I would order again at this place.

Thai Steam Fish - Resemblance of Tom Yam soup

Tau Foo was the nicest for me. The sauce was the tastiest.

Watch-night Service. It's great to have mummy with us after being away for so many years. 

Elder Dorai's message was a timely message 'Yet I will look again to the Lord'. To be reminded that whether or not breakthrough happens. Even if the sails are torn or the winds are still, yet I will look again to the Lord for He will deliver us. 

Psalm 119:49 'Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope.'

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He who leads
heart4God
Deuteronomy 8:2-3 Remember how the LORD your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would obey his commands. Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. 

Exodus 28:47 For the abundant blessings you have received from the Lord and serve Him with joy and enthusiasm. 

The tendency is to remember and dwell on the things which the Lord has not brought to pass rather than to dwell on the areas where God has given a breakthrough. Even though God may seem to be slow in coming or the breakthrough seems to be delayed but He is the the Lord who bursts through. He will bursts through the garrison / the walls of opposition. 

2 Samuel 5:20 So David went to Baal-perazim and defeated the Philistines there. "The LORD did it!" David exclaimed. " He burst through my enemies like a raging flood!" So he named that place Baal-perazim (which means "the Lord who bursts through")
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Looking Upward
heart4God

A whirlwind month or rather it has been quite a whirlwind season. I'm nevertheless blown away by how God has carried me through. Strength that comes from Him alone. Despite the lack, there is more. A sense of abundance. Despite the feeling of dread, there is a certain joy, hope.

It's funny how you will not understand something until you experience it yourself. You can read all about it but the comprehension part does not 'click' until you experience it.

I can say this.

Psalm 13 :5-6
But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

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Lack of desire
heart4God

We want the things of God. We want the 'wow-ness' of Him. We want to see the miracles, the breakthroughs, the healings but we are not willing to pay a price for it.

But perhaps the issue is because of a lack of desire. It is merely a want not a desire because if we truly desire it wouldn't we put in our all to attain it no matter the cost?

Perhaps it is a lack of desire for
- more of Him
- His kingdom to come
- the real breakthroughs, miracles

Or perhaps as Romans suggests we are unrighteous, we don't understand nor do we truly seek Him.

Romans 3:10-12 NIV — As it is written: “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.”

Yet the Lord of Host, the maker of the Heavens and Earth still chooses to pour His very presence into our lives. He gives us His very breath and make us His partners.

He still speaks and woos us to Him. He sings and rejoice over us. O indeed How great the Father's love for us.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. - Zephaniah 3:17

Nothing gonna keep you down forever
Nothing gonna change what's true
The bad days will come but they'll make you better
If He's who your heart runs to
Give Him every inhale every single exhale
And just watch what He can do
When you give Him the hurt
And you give Him the pain
He'll use the rain to make you bloom

I want you to know He'll use you as you are
So don't be afraid to show off your heart
Love every scar and remember
It takes time to get where you're going
But He's there in every moment
When it's tough don't give up
Keep on believing

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