This certainly isn't what I imagined life after graduation to be. I have always been so sure about what to do next (or at least pretty much) but right now I just don't know what to apply for. I really wonder why I studied accounting in the first place. The past few days I decided to browse through the newspapers looking for potential jobs and all I achieved is a huge sense of being totally lost. I mean I have been trained for the past 4-5 years in Accounts and being trained in analysing these figures but the thing I dread most is figures.

I am enjoying home but I know that this is certainly not the way things should go. I will have to face reality and start my journey for don't know how many years in the workforce. At least for now I am not facing the pressure to get any jobs as I only plan to start work in January (which isn't really helping me to be motivated).

Honestly I don't like the idea of not knowing where to go next or what to do next. Well, not as though people like uncertainty. I have convo to look forward this Saturday, it would be good to meet up with friends after such a long time. Really looking forward to NC partly because its been quite a while since I actually attended camp and it would be a good time out to meet old college friends and also spend time just concentrating on activities which is already all planned out and all I need to do is go with the flow.

Somehow I know that God likes to put uncertainty and that this is also part of His purpose and plans. Last Sunday, sitting in the midst of a total different environment (attended a church in Penang) the message seems to be the same but this time it seems to hit hard at the core. Do I really trust Him? How come I can't seem to let go of these choices and trust Him? How come it seems so difficult to hold on to Him? I know He has provided through circumstances in which I cannot imagine. Has He failed me? Nopes not once. He always comes through each time but why do I still fear of what is to come. Sometimes I can't understand myself either.

Alrights, moving on! The weekend away was good. Its nice just being away from everything and having no distraction with assignments or work and everyone is together on a holiday. Penang food has deteriorated. I think Taiping's food taste much better now however not as good as those days. Disappointing really!! They should maintai the food quality!~ Anyway the whole trip as we have been to Penang like so often its more like a food tour rather than a 'look see' tour. Nevertheless I enjoy the trip!

Well do hope that I would be able to get back to the court and play some good floorball and also get my stamina back so that I can start going for runs as well :) Hopefully....