The book of Acts have been one of those books that inspires me and challenges me on. Yesterday was Pentecost Sunday and I was blessed by Pastor Patrick Grant's message. It was a great reminder that without the spirit power there is no chance, absolutely impossible! to be able to do what God wants me to do / live out a missional living. 

The past few weeks have been quite crazy and there were several occasions where I feel like 'O my! This is beyond me. I'm not cut out for this.' 

1st instance was during the Hari Raya weekend where I was caught between the overseas country, my boss and what I feel. It was a weekend and the country was chasing me for a response, my boss gave his views but I couldn't see how I could word the policy so that it all worked out. Against my usual tendency to respond immediately, I felt the need to press into worship and prayer. Right after that God gave me the words. My boss, the country and the Board approved of it. 

2nd instance, I felt like I was being attacked. One incident after another incident, 3 separate matters on the same night. I was all riled up and felt defeated. I concluded that I am not cut out to manage 'politics'. To cut the long story short, God cleared the matter where my other colleagues spoke up on my behalf and the matter was resolved without me doing anything. Truly God's hand. 

3rd instance, last Friday my boss could not attend the Board meeting and one of my colleague too could not make it for the Board meeting. It was one THE Board meeting that I wish I did not have to attend alone. Somehow, God came through in the meeting. There was one of the initiative that was presented by the Country team and the Country Board was initially not for the initiative, they were not convinced with the benefits. I drew courage to speak up at the meeting and explained the situation, they listened and were a little open but I still sense hesitance, however in a turn of events, one of the issues which was highlighted in the meeting in a different agenda could be resolved with the initiative. There were immediate receptiveness and agreement from the committee. 

4th instance, today I finally felt I should go address one of the pressing issues with my colleague. She's almost retiring and her usual response is to 'tai-chi' responsibility to other people. I asked if we could have a discussion which she responded in a hostile manner to me. I dreaded the discussion and prayed, Dal prayed too. Praise God that the discussion went well. We reached an agreement on the way forward of the issue at hand. 

Truly we can't do anything on our own strength. It is the Holy Spirit at work in us, if only we let HIM. 

Also a big shout out to my prayer partner and my pillar of strength who has been praying for me and with me through it all. Thank you my dear for constantly reminding me that we can always turn to HIM.